Saturday, October 22, 2011

Chinese Doctor

                        MD v. OMD
                   Scalpel - Needle
                     Drugs - Herbs
               Lab Tests - Massage
       Sedentary Rest - Healing Exercise

My new Chinese doctor says she can
cure cancer. I looked at her recommendations,
and I believe her. She told me she's 80.
The friend who referred me said she's 93.
You wouldn't guess either of those numbers.

If you don't get acupuncture, you can
safely assume the doctor (OMD) or
doctor of TCM will lie you down on
a clinic table, insert three to 20 needles
(which are extremely thin) and then
you'll lay there for 20 minutes.

Not with this doctor. She said,
"I treat you now." So I stretched back
on the table and let her do her thing.
It had been eight years since my distal
tibia splayed open like a banana when
I stupidly jumped off a ladder. But Tai Chi
and acupuncture had honestly made the
ankle more flexible than before I broke it.

I couldn't really see what she was doing.
Her small frame blocked my view of my
ankle. I hate needles, but they always help.
I relaxed and tried to breathe easily. I saw
her little body jerk with good force, and felt
the needle go in, and then again and then
again. The last couple pinched a little, and
the the second to the last one made my
whole body tense up.

She said, "OK, you try it. Feel better ?"
I was shocked and trying to figure out
what happened to the 20 minutes of waiting.
There were no needles still in my ankle;
just punctures where something when in.
I stood up, and indeed, it did feel better.
But blood oozed out without cessation.

I looked at her desk where she laid down
the cotton balls and maybe the leftover
needles. There weren't any needles. Laying
there conspicuously was a lighter and a
fairly large set of tweezers, burned on both
tips. Holy crap. That's what she stabbed
me with.

The two major puncture marks on my ankle
were black with burned soot. The spot where
the tweezers went in first had clearly been
singed. But my ankle felt way better. The
bleeding finally stopped. I did some deep
ankle bends. The range of motion was
awesome and the pain was gone.

Over the next week, I had some of the best
exercise of my life.

Get over yourelf and go see a Chinese
doctor. I prefer my Chinese doctors to be
old and Chinese. Let him or her treat you
and take whatever herbs they want you
to take. It's amazingly good medicine.

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