Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Bicyling = Bad


















I know, I know. Once again,
I've hit you with the inflammatory
headline. But I'll remind you
ever so gently that in my blog,
"Important Statistics on Sports
Injuries" BICYCLING is the
most injurious sport, and that
is undisputed. Did you ever
crash on a bike ? Did you ever
see other people crash on a bike ?

Of course, it's fun to ride a bike.
My good friend Ken moved from
Michigan to Boulder, Colorado
to go to college around 1980. That's
when he fell in love with biking.
He competed in road races, and
with the advent of the mountain
bike, Ken rode hundreds and
thousands of miles for 30 years.
Then he had to have both knees
surgically redone. And he can't wait
to get back on that little, tiny seat I like
to call "butt-floss." Ken's injuries
are called "repetitive use injuries."
He simply wore his knees out.

When you think of Lance Armstrong,
what do you associate with his name?
"Winner?" "Cancer survivor?"
How about "Illicit drug user?" Or,
"Cheater" or "Liar?" I am still baffled
that folks do not associate Armstrong's
TESTICULAR CANCER with the
fact that his figs had nowhere to go
for the thousands of miles he's ridden.
Armstrong's injury stems from having
his testicles in a (so-called) vice.

If you take informal surveys with your
male friends who are over 40, and who
rode their bikes 'til their nuts turned
blue, you'll find that repetitive use
knee injuries like Ken's, and nether-
region maladies like Armstrongs are
quite common. Men over 40 have
enough problems with the under-
carriage trifecta (testes, prostate, colon/anus)
without the torture device labeled
"bike," which is thinly veiled as exercise
apparatus.

Look at the range of motion; bicycling
puts all the power of the legs into a minute
extension/flexion of the knee. The hips
and ankles barely articulate.

The rest is all isometrics. The abdomen,
the lower back, the chest, the upper
back, shoulders, biceps, triceps, and
neck must all stabilize against the gyration
of the knees and ankles. Look at the
posture! It's wretched ! Horrible !

If you want to go for a Sunday ride,
that's fine and fun and fulfilling. But
bicycling is bad, especially for boys.

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